We, Tibetans, are at a time where we feel that the Tibetan culture is fast vanishing, not only in Tibet but also in exile. In exile, the younger generation studying in English-medium schools has been seen as one cause for many youngsters losing touch with the Tibetan culture, language and religion. In this article, Tenzin Pema Chashar, takes you through her own experience at one such school and tells you what her experience has taught her.
Finding My Roots In My Non-Tibetan School !
I sat amongst the cheering audience, surprised at the somewhat ‘shameful' envy I felt for my former classmates as I watched them play the flute, dance and sing so effortlessly to Tibetan music. I recalled the many times I had tried in vain to comprehend the lines of a simple Tibetan pop song or for that matter, my thorough inability to dance to Tibetan music. But of course, these were not the only tasks at which I failed in miserably. My schooling at an English medium residential school, starting from the very young age of eight as a fourth standard student, had ensured that my confidence and capabilities fail me at certain times, most often those relating to matters or events that involved my knowledge of my own culture, language and religion.
Through the years, there've been far too many times when I've sat through a prayer meeting, keeping mum the whole time even as all others chanted their prayers from memory. Each time I found myself in such a situation I always resolved that there would never be a next time, but what I did not realise of course, was the fact that the learning process always gets more difficult once one gets older.
However, if these moments of utter shame and envy were limited to musical performances and prayer meetings, life would definitely have been a lot simpler for me. Instead I found myself in embarrassing situations too, whenever I failed in my attempts to express myself clearly to another person in my own language. Then there were also times when those my age, who invariably spoke better Tibetan than I did, found this a perfect opportunity to tease and remind me of my own shortcomings.
Well, so far I've managed to present a pretty bleak picture of my life and probably also the lives of all those who've missed out on studying in a Tibetan school. Despite this, I have to also admit the
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fact that studying in an English-medium residential school has had its plus points too. Apart from developing a certain degree of independence and confidence, and also a reasonable understanding of the English language, the experience at school has made a far greater impact on my life, on my thinking and on me as a whole.
For one, my experience at my boarding school has taught me to feel more strongly for my people and my nation. The strong urge to make a meaningful difference and serve my people were instilled in me for the first time, not at a Tibetan school, but through my interaction with the few Tibetan students in school; the fact that we were a minority was itself a reason for us to develop a strong sense of unity and a defiance to stand up for one another whenever any of us were in trouble.
Our experience and years at an English-medium residential school may have robbed us of all or some of our well-learned knowledge of our Tibetan culture, language and religious prayers, but they instead managed to instill in us something far deeper, for only through my experience there stems my strong understanding of my roots and my desire to hold on to it.
Little things mattered to us at that time. For instance, wearing our ‘tangha' all the time was something we considered more than just a passing fad; putting up a framed picture of His Holiness the Dalai Lama at the topmost shelf of our cupboards was something that no one forced or taught us to do; celebrating Losar by collecting our own pocket money was not just fun, celebrations and eating good food, it also meant bonding with your fellow Tibetans and restating your ‘Tibetanness'. It's amazing how it is only through the many years at a non-Tibetan school, that I clearly understood how we Tibetans, as a refugee community, have managed to hold on so steadfastly to our identity, to our ‘Tibetanness', after all these years.
And now, even after more than four years after graduating from school, I still look back gratefully to those days, for I'm aware that my real love for the Tibetan people, culture, language and religion stemmed from those very days at school, when I was practically, the farthest from all these. I'm also aware that my love has in turn borne my desire to understand and study more about my people, my land, my culture, my religion, my language and my roots.
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